I’ll spare you an image of this but anyone who has experienced hot and humid conditions will know what I’m describing below:
You’ve been working out in the garden all morning and the humidity has been exceptionally high. You keep on attending to the various tasks even as you pull your shirt away from your back now and then. It’s only when you sit down for a rest that you realise just how sticky all over you’ve become.
So having completed that days outside chores, you head indoors for a shower. That’s when you become aware that you can no longer just slip your undies off – They are so sodden with perspiration that the only way to remove them is by rolling them down your thighs in a way that reminds you of sausages but not in a nice way. The rolled down undies now resemble a very thick thong! I just have to chuckle to myself as I then nip into the shower.
All of the above reminds me of a funny e-mail that did the rounds some years ago and I thought I’d pop in here for those of you with a good sense of humour. Just a couple of things to bear in mind:
A Diary of a Pom In Karratha
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Karratha, Western Australia, now this is a town that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on the veranda. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my home. I love it here.
Really heating up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I’m turning into a sun worshipper.
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but i love it here.
This temperature hasn’t been below 35 all week. How do people get used to this kind of heat.
At least today it’s kind of windy though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol’ sun in a climate like this.
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time i got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I told the kids that she ran way. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat s***. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant f***ing blow dryer!! And its hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged $200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts.
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $600,000 house and we can’t even go inside.
Why did I ever come here
Its 38 degrees. Finally got the ol’ air-conditioner fixe today. It cost $1,500 and gets the temp down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the house feel like it’s about 30. Stupid repairman.
I hate this stupid f***ing place.
If another wise arse cracks, “hot enough for you today” I’m going to f***ing throttle him. F***ing heat!
By the time I get to work, the car’s radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soaking f***ing wet, and I smell like baked cat!!
Tried to run some messages to work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black leather seats in the ol’ car.
I though my f***ing arse was on fire. I lost to layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my f***ing arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass and baked cat.
The weather report might as well be a f***ing recording. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and f***ing sunny.
It’s been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn’t it ever rain in this damn f***ing place? Water rationing will be next, so my $5,000 worth of palms just might dry up and bow into the f***ing pool. Even the palms can’t live in this f***ing heat.
Welcome to HELL!!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner’s gone in my car.
The repairman came to fix i and said “hot enough for you today?”
My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my ass out of jail for assaulting the stupid f***er. F*** Karratha! What kind of sick demented f***ing idiot would want to live here?
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer??? You are f***ing kidding!!!
That’s all folks, a very belated Happy New Year to you all.